We are Mutual Murderers! (Societal Eclipse)

Change is a constant variable. And I wonder why our society is not changing. Last write up that I wrote I very proudly proclaimed that it is not the age that is important but the right match. I now think I was wrong… Rather I am proven wrong. In India our whole life is centered towards marriage, we have to study hard to get a good match; we have to earn good to be a suitable match…everything we do should be socially acceptable to live a life, or in other words to find a match. I always thought that education helps in reformation…but seems in India even education is a hopeless tool because more than education it is the society that plays an important role in our decision making. It is not the educated mind that takes the decision but the mind that is molded by society. It seems that we have been blinded by the pointless counters of society. Reasons and logic do not seem to work with society! We let the people around us control our lives to an extent that we no longer respect our lives. It’s true that a man is the product of the society he lives in; and a lame society gives birth to a lame man and a lame mind.  India is the best example of a worthless society, where a 29 year old girl is forced to commit suicide just because she did not get a suitable match.

I was taken aback when I read this news.  A well educated girl of a very well educated family (mother-principal, father-doctor) hanged herself to death just because she did not get a right match. Honestly, at first I thought she was stupid to have done this, I actually cursed her for committing a crime like this…not taking life seriously…but to think of it on a deeper level it is not suicide but murder. We murdered her. We who make this society are murders. It was a cold blooded murder. I feel guilty because I am as much a part of society as anyone else.

When I was writing the last write up, it was on a very light note that I mentioned about it…I never thought that someone can be a victim on that level. This makes me think and question the progress that we claim to make. We are not progressing, we are regressing because I am sure incidents like this did not happen in ancient India, where a girl had to kill herself just because she is 29 and not married.  I know I am talking of an altogether different India but if this is the state of present India then it is better we do not progress. It is the societal eclipse that we are encountering, oblivion that it will engulf all of us. We are nurturing darkness in the garb of our futile and fatal societal norms.

Suicide is anyway illogical but I have never heard of a more illogical reason than this one.

May her soul rest in peace!

Marriage - Right age or right match?

Two decades and seven years have passed, quite a lot of time to think of it. Everybody says it is time to tie a knot and some even say that I am past the perfect age of getting married. Really! I want to ask what actually is the perfect age to get …….? I am sure everybody would have a different number in their mind. Let me share with you my experience, the reasons I have listened to. The marriage drama at my home started at the age of 21.Thankfully my parents were not involved then, they knew that it was indeed a tender age to be married. I still remember how in one of the marriage functions, one of our loud relatives pointed me out and told my parents about the prospective party. I just stood dumbstruck over there…really didn’t know how to react back then! Well my parents handled the situation wisely. Now to think of it if I would have got married at that time, things would
 have been a lot different…firstly I would not be writing this, secondly happiness and freedom would have been a question mark and what not…Mind you the last statement about happiness and freedom is not a statement against marriage, it was about the after effects! ;) I am not at all against marriage, rather marriage makes me very hopeful and worried about my soul mate because he would have to bear with me not matter what!

Coming back to the right age for marriage…I think the right age for marriage will always be a controversial, at least in the Indian context. Some say that the right age for girls to get married is right after their graduation when they are 20-21 years old…I really don’t understand what makes them think that way. A girl who hardly knows the worldly ways is expected to take care of a family and a full grown immature (sometimes). And when a girl turns 25, people bombard her and her parents with all stupid questions they can think of, for instance- ‘has she chosen someone already’ or ‘r u not searching a groom for her’ or ‘have you registered on a matrimonial site?’ and what not. I personally find this matrimonial business a little funny, I mean c’mon! My mother too goes crazy sometimes she makes search a prospective groom on a matrimonial site…and I always find it funny, making fun of the profiles with my siblings and it becomes epic when my mother too joins in the fun…

And when you are past 25 forget about relatives your friends too join the brigade with them…to be precise all the married friends. Their simple question like ‘when are you getting married’ with a special stress on you, leaves you speechless. I swear you don’t want to talk to them again…just because they are married doesn’t mean that was the right age to get married. Now if I continue writing I may write something offensive... so here I put my thoughts on hold.

At last I want to say it is not the right age but the right person that matters!

Too Good a Thought!

Today when I am writing, a lot of things are clustered in my mind. There is no one thought that I have in my mind. I am feeling very oxymoronish at this time. I think it is very poetic to feel like that, but at the same time complex. I always thought I would lead a simple life unaware that life hardly gives anyone that chance. It is kind of funny! At least I find it that way.  But somehow I will not let life complicate my life.  As of now I am more interested in putting my unnecessary thoughts at ease rather than discussing life at large. People say meditation is the key; I wish that was that easy for me too.

I don’t know about others but I am somehow scared of my thoughts sometimes and frankly speaking it is not me who put them there it is the people. (God that again is a hopeless thought!) OK I agree the thoughts are mine hence I am the mother. Hmm… Mother is a heavy word, that means my thoughts become my responsibility, oh God I am on a roll mother, responsibility…Does that mean like a good mother I would have to take care of my babies and also others’ if they come across me. The thoughts that others produce are sometimes the consequences of my thoughts. Seems as if there is a whole reproductive system that is being operated!  If the thoughts are mine than I am the mother and if I am cause of the thought than I am the father…haha Funny it is! But very true!  Being aware what thoughts can cause, I will try to be a good mother and a father too.

I will wait for the day when people also realize that and become good parents.